Carlo Aaron

Posts Tagged ‘lol’

Valentine’s Day for the Pragmatic Soul

In holiday idea, Uncategorized on February 12, 2012 at 11:01 pm

What do you do when your valentine doesn’t like chocolate, flowers, or receiving romantic attention on national Hallmark Day? You could ignore the giant, imaginary hearts that float around the heads of couples everywhere and tell your loved one that you respect his or her decision to essentially be ignored, or you could recognize your baby cakes in a homorous and pragmatic way that says, ‘we are way too cool to participate in a celebration that rewards high schoolers for their hormones with giant balloons, so I am going to give you a gift that simultaneously mocks Valentine’s Day and proves how attentive I am to your  needs.’

Here is the pragmatic V-Day gift I prepared for my honey boo boo child:





Toiletries are a great way of saying that you want your sweetumz to stay over and be comfortable, or at least that you’ve accepted that they will anyway. It’s practical and good for the both of you– nobody likes a stinky partner. I don’t care how ‘hip’ it is…that’s gross.



My baby-poo struggles with cooking, like most people under 30. I started a folder of recipes for him, specifically because he asked I do so. If your valentine has asked you to do something before and you never got around to it, this is your moment to shine. If I gave him the recipes on any normal day, I would be doing him a favor. If I do it on v-day it’s like I remembered! Few things are as important in a boring, monogamous relationship as remembering.

I also got him a planner because…well, he doesn’t have one, and I think that’s nuts.


Reminding him of important dates!

This is Isasmella’s reaction to receiving such a practical gift (too bad I’ll have to take it away):



Good luck with your Pragmatic Valentine’s Day gift! Remember, if your relationship is struggling and it’s your fault, add mixed CDs and “date coupons” to make it look like you put in more effort.




Coco and Isasmella


Blackrtastic on Popularity

In Uncategorized on February 5, 2012 at 1:06 am

Things That Are Good And Or Rock: Botan Candy

In Uncategorized on January 26, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Recently I found myself inside an Asian Market for the first time in a year; I had no intentions of blowing off all of my errands and responsibilities for an impromptu visit to this paradise of Asian delicacies, but hey, sometimes it just happens.

After grabbing what might have been 5 car washes worth of merchandise (and of course, my car is still caked in dirt from a bonfire that took place several weeks ago, but hey, a vehicle can stand to have some character), I noticed something wonderful and colorful by the register: boxes and boxes of botan candy. Unable to resist the lure of nostalgia (a dangerous lure, I admit), I shelled out my 99 cents.

‘What is this botan candy?’ you might ask. Oh, I don’t know. Only the COOLEST CANDY EVER. Not that it’s the tastiest or the healthiest, it’s just the coolest. They’re these chewy, little, pink things wrapped over twice– once in plastic, and once in rice paper. When you offer them to friends you get the best reactions, because most of the time your friends won’t believe that they can eat the rice paper, and wonder for a few moments if they can melt it with their eyes  (this way they can say, ‘Hey, crazy! Did you just see that?! Guess I’ll just have to eat the candy part of your weird, foreign poison!’). They end up looking stupid and you look generous. Successful interaction? Yep.

And while you’re at the Asian market, you might as well look around (especially if the ethnic aisle in your local grocery store sucks). A lot of times vegetables are as cheap as they would be at Wal-Mart and are also edible, which is unusual. Also, sesame seed oil, rooster sauce, and canned lychees are irresistible Asian Market goods suddenly within your reach. If none of this is enough to get you to your local Asian Market, Botan candies come with strange little stickers: