Carlo Aaron

Valentine’s Day for the Pragmatic Soul

In holiday idea, Uncategorized on February 12, 2012 at 11:01 pm

What do you do when your valentine doesn’t like chocolate, flowers, or receiving romantic attention on national Hallmark Day? You could ignore the giant, imaginary hearts that float around the heads of couples everywhere and tell your loved one that you respect his or her decision to essentially be ignored, or you could recognize your baby cakes in a homorous and pragmatic way that says, ‘we are way too cool to participate in a celebration that rewards high schoolers for their hormones with giant balloons, so I am going to give you a gift that simultaneously mocks Valentine’s Day and proves how attentive I am to your  needs.’

Here is the pragmatic V-Day gift I prepared for my honey boo boo child:





Toiletries are a great way of saying that you want your sweetumz to stay over and be comfortable, or at least that you’ve accepted that they will anyway. It’s practical and good for the both of you– nobody likes a stinky partner. I don’t care how ‘hip’ it is…that’s gross.



My baby-poo struggles with cooking, like most people under 30. I started a folder of recipes for him, specifically because he asked I do so. If your valentine has asked you to do something before and you never got around to it, this is your moment to shine. If I gave him the recipes on any normal day, I would be doing him a favor. If I do it on v-day it’s like I remembered! Few things are as important in a boring, monogamous relationship as remembering.

I also got him a planner because…well, he doesn’t have one, and I think that’s nuts.


Reminding him of important dates!

This is Isasmella’s reaction to receiving such a practical gift (too bad I’ll have to take it away):



Good luck with your Pragmatic Valentine’s Day gift! Remember, if your relationship is struggling and it’s your fault, add mixed CDs and “date coupons” to make it look like you put in more effort.




Coco and Isasmella


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: